One & half mother -Chapter 6

Chapter 6

This was the first night Ellen was going to spend alone in the twenty-five years of her life. She hadn’t slept alone in New York or Moses. She shut her eyes tight. She heard the ticking noise of the clock hanging in her corridor. She was frightened by sheer loneliness.

Ellen heard strides of somebody moving toward her home from the street. She listened to the suppressed weep of a woman along with the sound of footsteps. Ellen perceived the noise of gravel being dragged under those feet. She held her breath with dread. She heard someone running away from there, followed by the loud crying sound of an infant.

For a few moments, Ellen thought somebody with a child was outside, yet the infant continued crying loudly. Ellen turned the lights on and rushed out; she saw a three to four-month-old baby boy in a flower basket. Someone had kept him in front of Ellen’s house and fled. Maybe his parents were waiting for Ellen to open her cafeteria and stay in it so that they could abandon him and hand him over to her.

Ellen didn’t want to leave the baby in the freezing weather outside. She took the infant in her grasp and walked inside. She folded her blanket like a soft bed and cap for baby. The chubby, blue-eyed infant quit crying and smiled at Ellen when she went to take him from the wicker bin. He may have seen his mother, for the first time, in Ellen. He might have known Ellen wouldn’t abandon him in the open to the harsh elements to be eaten by stray dogs and wolves. As for those who had thrown him, they may also have known it.

Isabella came early in the morning and saw the closed cafeteria. She went to the back door of the home with a massive beating in her heart. She thumped on the door and called Ellen. Ellen opened the door with drowsy eyes and called Isabella inside. The infant woke up and began crying loudly. Isabella asked Ellen to give the baby to a shelter or hand him over to the local police station, but Ellen declined saying that God had given him to her seeing her loneliness.

 Isabella didn’t want to argue with Ellen in the cold morning. She went from the room and returned with the milk bottle which she had kept in front of the cafeteria. They boiled and cooled the milk for the baby. He didn’t agree to drink milk from a spoon; they made a decent attempt to make the infant drink a little. Ellen asked Isabella to open the cafeteria while she took a taxicab and went to the hospital to consult a doctor in her nightdress.

At present, Doc Daniel was the acting head of the hospital. He was a general surgeon and spine of the hospital. Currently, there were numerous offices and many specialists, medical caretakers and a large number of patients in St. Shepherd’s hospital.

Ellen walked to the inquiry and fixed an appointment for her. Soon, Ellen’s token number was called out. In the frosty morning, only Doc Daniel was available for consultation after his night rounds. Ellen saw Doc Daniel’s name board before entering his office and was reminded of her brother.

Ellen saw a charm similar to her sibling’s in the face of the baby. Ellen informed him of the circumstance of the previous evening concerning how she got the infant and requested Doc to examine him for any illness and vaccinate him. Doc valued her intent to convey the infant to the healing center, and the story seemed pretty convincing to him. After looking at the infant, Doc disclosed to Ellen that the child was perfectly fine. As per the doctor’s advice, they called the police there. They filled all the details and Ellen’s statement concerning the baby; then, the doctor exhorted the police chief to leave the baby with Ellen.

In the presence of Doc, Ellen agreed to be present in the court for adopting him with legal support by 11 o’ clock. Even in the winter, tender green leaves started rising on a maple tree next to Ellen’s Home; the tree which had seen the real parent of the innocent baby.

Ellen’s empty life began envisioning another life ahead. Doc gave him some vitamin tablets, prescribed a few medicines and asked Ellen to come back after the legal proceedings the next day for immunization. Ellen grabbed a taxi from there to the nearest multimarket. She purchased a baby blanket and baby care items along with a baby pouch sling. A blue one, her favourite colour, a blue pouch. The baby with blue eyes looked at his new mom and grinned. Ellen came to the home with a bag of medicines and items for baby care. Isabella was astonished seeing her with the infant in the baby pouch. She was bewildered on how soon Ellen had settled on the choice to bring him with her.

They fed him with a milk bottle. He was very glad to bite the rubber nipple with his gums and drink milk. Ellen felt something fill her bosom after watching the child drinking milk. But soon, she realized it was only a feeling, Ellen asked Isabella to close the cafeteria, and they both left to the court. Isabella worried about closing the cafeteria very next day after the inauguration. She even told herself it was going to affect the business badly. She may have thought it as a bad sign, but Ellen didn’t have any thoughts in her apart from that infant.

The court considered Ellen’s trial early on account of the idea of the case concerning a citizen’s future. Ellen gave her statement to the judge if, at any juncture in time, the genuine guardians of the tyke came and proved they were the genuine guardians; she would give the kid to them abiding by every lawful custom. The court considered the budgetary and social foundation of Ellen and chose to leave the child with Ellen with a ten-day notice period to present the infant to the purview for checking the condition of the baby. Ellen expressed gratitude to everybody under whose steady gaze she left the court. She came back to the home with Isabella.

The cafeteria remained closed that day. Isabella went to her house. Ellen always kept the baby on her warm chest. He was comfortable against her warm body and stayed silent until she put him on the bed, she attempted to sustain him with the milk bottle at night after a series of attempts, he drank a little milk. Perhaps the milk was a little bitter because of the vitamin tablets Ellen added to it. Ellen lay next to the baby. He began to cry significantly louder. He had pooped.

“Hahaa,” Ellen put her hand on her head, “my goodness, for this, you cried so loud.”

She took him in her arms, removed his dirty diaper and wiped his body with a wet towel and dry tissues. She was relishing the essence of what she was accomplishing as a mother. He seemed very happy after wearing the new dry diaper. He started moving his arms and legs with his cooing play. Ellen hadn’t noticed the time. She was enjoying his cooing and babbling sounds. He started crying again.

Ellen took him in her grasp and looked inside his diaper. No, there was nothing, she sat and kept the baby close to her, still. He was crying and searching for something in his mother’s body. Ellen felt something inside her body transforming from the minute the infant came to her. But she knew it was just a hallucination. He moved his face up and down to touch the milk bottle; he protested when Ellen tried to latch the milk bottle to him. He cried noisy and uproarious.

After a lot of mental struggle, she took her left breast outside with a lot of shyness on her face. Even though there was no one to see it, all of a sudden, she remembered something and strolled to the washroom. She washed her areolas with a germicide fluid she acquired for washing her hands. She rewashed it with cleanser and a lot of water, the first occasion when she saw a few long strands of hair on her areola. She hadn’t looked at her body anytime; Ellen had been striving to live. She was endeavouring to build her dream.

Individuals around her saw her body, not her mind. That was the reason she turned out different from everyone else in life! Ellen hauled out those strands of hair in the midnight, the baby was yelling uproariously from the room. She took him in her lap and touched his lips on her areola. He latched onto it at the very first touch like a magnet to an opposite pole. Ellen felt an electric shock through her body at that moment.

He was trying hard to get his midnight meal, the tender breast of Ellen made him uncomfortable many times, her nipple slipped from his mouth frequently. Ellen felt something that she hadn’t felt in her entire life. He got tired or became satisfied. Anyway, he tumbled to rest. She didn’t think she did anything wrong as a mother. Ellen got scared at seeing the colourless liquid oozing from her bosoms once his lips slipped. She thought the colourless liquid had drooled from the baby, and later, she identified something was coming out from her breasts when she pressed it. She smelled it and tasted it. Nothing, just a colourless and tasteless liquid with the smell of milk, she feared to breastfeed him later in the night when he cried. Ellen tricked him to drink milk from the bottle, the time it was successful, and his stomach became full. He dozed peacefully.

The next day, early in the morning, Ellen went and opened the cafeteria. With the infant on her baby sling pouch, Sister Sophie was her first customer. Sister Sophie took the baby from her and gave Ellen a break to set up her work. Ellen recounted the incident that had happened the previous day to Sister over an espresso. Sister Sophie recommended a name for him. John, Johnny. She called the name to the infant. He grinned and began cooing and moving his arms and legs looking at Sister Sophie’s face.

“Sister, is it wrong if I feed him with my breast to stop him crying in the night?” Ellen asked with a low voice and glanced around her.

“I don’t know, my child; I am not knowledgeable to answer your question,” Sister Sophie smiled.

“Do you know how many times I fed you in the nights?” Sister laughed; that relaxed Ellen.

If Sister fed me, I can also do it, she told herself in her mind.

Sister Sophie was about to leave when Isabella reached there. Ellen held him close to her in the pouch and turned to the kitchen. By that time, morning hikers started walking in for hot espressos.

Gradually, the morning swarm vanished. Presently, it was the ideal opportunity for breakfast; Isabella bought something for breakfast. She was sure Ellen wouldn’t get time to make anything.

“Isabella,” Ellen called her after ensuring there was no one around. She asked her doubt which she asked sister.

Isabella didn’t know about a situation like the. In fact, she didn’t consider it until this time.

Isabella got the meaning of Ellen’s question after a moment.

“Hey, Ellen. Don’t think of it in that way; our body is something like that. We may get the pleasure to touch someone, something, and that is the nature of the body, and in your mind, when the baby drank milk from you, it would be the peak of happiness. Your body may react anyway it wants to; there is nothing wrong if you had any feeling. That is a mother’s feeling. Only mothers can understand it, also feel it.”

Ellen heard each word of Isabella with curious eyes; she believed it was common in mothers, Ellen forgot she was not really a mother.

Bit by bit, they began making refreshments, cakes and juice in the cafeteria. The cafeteria began to attract a crowd; Ellen didn’t feel nervous about feeding the baby on those days. She started enjoying feeding him; day after day, she felt something inside her bosoms in the wake of hearing the infant cry. She nursed the baby with her empty mammary glands.

That evening, the baby was sucking her breast peacefully. Ellen was looking at his innocent face, and she closed eyes and relaxed, she felt his lips dropped from her areola. He fell asleep. She saw a few drops of milk on her nipple and was stunned; Ellen put him on the bed and went to the washroom. She took out her breasts. They had turned soft and saggy. She saw her areolas had become huge, and she squeezed her left bosom. A splash of liquid fell on the mirror. And the other one, the same. She got frightened about it and went to the cafeteria. Isabella was cleaning and organizing the cafeteria before closing, Ellen told her about the strange thing happening to her.

Isabella smiled and replied, “You are a good mother; that is the reason God is favouring you with everything a mother has.”

Ellen took the baby to the hospital the next day; they reached the hospital in the morning, after waiting in a long queue for babies. She reached Doc Susan, the baby specialist in St. Shepherd hospital. She recounted the stories of all the eight days to Doc. Ellen showed Doc Daniel’s prescriptions for vaccinations.

Doc Susan asked the nurse to inoculate the baby. The nurse took the baby from Ellen and walked to the vaccine room. Doc was writing something in her case diary,

Ellen asked Doc with a low voice, “I am lactating nowadays, is that a prob, Doc?”

Doc Susan lifted her face from the diary and smiled at Ellen.

“No, not at all, your hormones and body think it is your baby, it is called galactorrhea, an imbalance of prolactin, many people take medication to get this. You are blessed with it, enjoy the motherhood, dear.”

Ellen rushed to meet the strides of the attendant. After immunization, they returned home with a considerable measure of fulfilment in Ellen’s mind.

She whispered, “I am your mother, Johnny.” He smiled at her face from the Baby carrier

Isabella was checking the cash with a great deal of trouble. Ellen chuckled mentally, thinking the lady who knew more things than normal ladies did, didn’t know how to tally the cash.

“Ohooo, mom and son got back,” Isabella came and took the infant out from the hoisted pouch.

Ellen began tallying where Isabella left; the pay was just beginning to reach Ellen’s expectations. She shut the rack and started to prepare the cafeteria for lunch.

Now, they had started selling lunch and breakfast too, delicious meals. People had started to love the food in the cafeteria. Still, there was a significant taste difference between Ellen’s cooking and Isabella’s, even though both looked similar on the outside and had the same raw materials inside, they both created different tastes. Customers didn’t complain about it because Isabella also cooked well, it was just a different taste. That was it.

Ellen requested Isabella to ask Abraham to come over and make a baby window to create a view from the house to the cafeteria. Ellen wanted to see baby even if he was sleeping in the house.

It was the tenth day. They shut the cafeteria after breakfast surge and went to the court; Sister Sophie also came to the court with them. They didn’t have to wait in the line; they had a window to go and meet the judge.

Doc Daniel was available there with the judges to analyze the child. He grinned after seeing Ellen and told the judge, “If this was the case, I needn’t have come here, your honour. She is dealing with the infant better than a birth mother could.” The judge grinned and instructed the officers to give the legal rights of adoption, and it was complicated for them to fill the forms where they needed to mention Ellen’s family. However, Sister Sophie advised them to fill the details of Antony’s family and make the reports. Yes, Johnny was part of Antony’s adopted family. Thousands of miles away, Antony and Jacqueline didn’t even know about the grandson they now had.

They went straight to the chapel for his Baptism. Sister Sophie organized everything before she came from there. Father Nicolas had gone to Italy for some reason. That made it much easier for Mother Mary and Sister Sophie to celebrate this new beginning along with the inmates and orphans.

Father Immanuel was a young priest who had come after Father Gabriel’s death. He denominated Johnny; little Johnny didn’t like to get dipped in the water. He held the side of the vessel with his tiny hands very tightly to escape it. Father Immanuel and the crowd laughed many times after seeing it. They spent more time to get him relaxed and dip in the holy water, and Johnny started crying. Ellen strolled to an edge of the church to feed him. Sister Sophie and Mother Mary were astonished to see it; they implored Almighty God for the prosperity of this mother and child.

Ellen saw Moses’ cake house was closed, and Sister Sophie explained to her about the things that had happened after she had left. Mother Mary added they were going to put the equipment in an auction next week and were going to make the cake house a guest room after alterations. Ellen figured it would be beautiful even as a visitors’ room. Father Gabriel had arranged everything for the long term. He had disclosed to Ellen that one day, the cake house would close, and they would make it a gallery, Ellen didn’t concur with it at the time. She thought perhaps in the following fifty years, it would be a museum.

Ellen made her little savings grow day by day. Isabella and Abraham became full-time workers of the cafeteria. Within one year, they developed a better reputation for the dream cafeteria in the city. Ellen made her home beautiful with a sit out and furnishings.

Johnny started calling her “Ma, Ma,” and laughing at her.

The people who visited the cafeteria always happy to see the beautiful mother working with her son around in a pouch.

Ellen celebrated Johnny’s first birthday little grandly. Ellen invited the neighbors and her regular customers staying far too. Inmates and orphans of Moses and sisters came with small gifts. Ellen felt very happy that day. Sister Sophie and Mother Mary disclosed to her that they would move to a cathedral in Italy for the rest of their lives. The news made Ellen sad. She felt complete loneliness in her mind for a while. But everything has a good reason. She told herself that in her mind.

After the birthday celebration, Ellen felt bad about not even calling her parents for it; she was thinking about it over and over and decided to go to New York to meet them. She buried her thoughts inside her and decided to strive more toward her dream. Still, she decided to go back to Aileach one day with her son.

With her growing child and business, Ellen identified the need for a vehicle for her daily use. She even cleared her driving test in a single attempt following a month of evening driving lessons. Abraham found a half-rusted ford car within Ellen’s budget. It was a great relief for Ellen to roam around with Johnny and to buy raw materials to run her cafeteria.

Little Johnny turned into a naughty kid who didn’t sit idle in the home anytime. Dragonflies, grasshopper’s, even frogs were frightened and kept running off when they saw the little monster. He didn’t have any intention to hurt them. He just meant to play with them, but little Johnny’s tinny fingers were hard for those small creatures. Ellen worried about Johnny’s love for animals. He ran to catch squirrels in the plot. He tried to capture the neighbour’s cat and got hurt by it. Altogether, Ellen was going mad watching her kid all the time and looking after cafeteria at the same time.

As usual, on Saturday afternoon, they closed the cafeteria. It was Ellen’s routine from the beginning. Saturday afternoons, they went shopping for the coming week, and Sunday was her holiday. Isabella had some guests in her home, so she didn’t go with Ellen to the city for the week’s shopping. Little Johnny hated to sit held by seatbelts, and he hated the old car too.

“Johnny don’t like seatbelt,” he was yelling it all the way to the city market.

The market was not as crowded as Sundays’ maybe she had chosen Saturday to avoid the crowd. Ellen parked the car safely near a vegetable shop where she bought vegetables regularly. She lowered the side window glass for Johnny and rushed to the market asking him to sit tight for five minutes. Ellen was right; to carry him and groceries alone was difficult for her. Johnny didn’t put his foot down on earth if his mom was around. He always stayed on her waist; Ellen carried him everywhere effortlessly like an excellent mother. Isabella advised Ellen often to make him walk with her, but Ellen was happy to carry him on her waist than pull his hands and make him walk.

Johnny smiled at the old homeless man sitting next to a light pole. The old man managed to give back a smile to little Johnny. Ellen took more time than expected. Johnny was getting bored in the car. He played with his toy auto on the dashboard. He played with the seatbelt for some time. All of a sudden, Johnny heard a puppy’s whining and crying sound. Johnny was curious to find out where the sound was coming from. He glanced around from inside, yet he could nothing, but the sound was very close and sounded weak.

 The four-year-old naughty kid opened the door and supported himself with the safety belt to touch the ground with his legs. Ellen didn’t guess Johnny would get out of the car alone. The minute he placed his foot on the ground, he felt somebody licking his foot. It was a dull-hued puppy, a skeleton covered by skin. Johnny sat alongside the puppy. The whelp was shuddering and attempting to stand, its huge eyes had a shine of expectations.

Johnny put his little palm on the puppy’s head, rubbed his ears and head, and called him “Brownie.” The puppy was noiseless for a minute and started to wag his tail even though it couldn’t move it with strength.

Johnny saw the edge of a long coat beside him and the loud shouting voice of his mother, “Johnny, you never listen to me anytime, I don’t know how I will take you anywhere. How dare you come out of the car and touch the dirty dog?”

She was screaming. Johnny began crying holding the puppy firmly with him. Ellen shook his hand to leave the puppy, yet he was holding it tight. She didn’t have any other alternative apart from taking both home

Johnny was very happy to hold the puppy the way back home. Ellen puked a few times due to the bad odour from the puppy. She saw Johnny’s reaction when she asked him to leave the puppy, but she was very stressed about Johnny holding a grimy puppy. She stopped the car several times to make Johnny put down the puppy. But whenever Ellen started to move the car, Johnny carried the puppy again. From the moment Johnny touched the puppy, it was comfortable and stopped making any noise. Ellen was sure this puppy would not live more than a week with the condition of its health. They reached home. Before taking Johnny down, she took the puppy out of the car and kept in a box.

From her home, Isabella saw the vehicle coming in, and she began to help Ellen to take out the luggage, Isabella saw the dirty puppy and Johnny with dirt in his hand and lap. She smiled at him.

“Wow, is that Johnny’s new friend?”

Johnny shook his head.

Ellen told Isabella about the puppy story while washing Johnny’s hands under the water tap near the maple tree in their foreground. She threw away his filthy garments and Johnny ran inside with his little advances to take his new clothes. She walked inside and dressed him in new clothes. Ellen took shampoo from the washroom and came outside, the puppy started making a whining noise in the box. She lifted the puppy from it; she felt the puppy’s heartbeats on her palm, Ellen put the puppy under the water tap. She opened the valve, the puppy hesitated to go under the cold water, but it could only turn its head. It was in her hand.

Ellen rinsed it and put shampoo all over the puppy, and she brushed the puppy’s paws, and the gaps in its paw. She pushed his nails out and brushed them. She made him clean again with a water wash; it went on for a long time; after the cold-water shower, the puppy began shivering. Ellen figured it would fall and pass on that very minute. She went inside and dried it with an old towel. She put some old clothes in a carton box and kept the puppy in it to make him warm. She went inside and took milk in Johnny’s old milk bottle and tried to feed the puppy. Johnny was watching everything standing next to Ellen. The puppy summoned his entire strength to drink some milk from the container. It dozed calmly in the wake of filling its stomach. Johnny watched his resting new companion for quite a while.

Customers reduced day by day. Isabella brought that to Ellen’s notice. Ellen had also been thinking the same for few days. They were not making any profit those days. They were simply acquiring the funds to compensate Isabella and Abraham. Ellen’s life was streaming alongside it. Ellen wanted to be involved in the cafeteria full time, but with the naughty Johnny, it became tough for her to manage on those days, and now a little dog too.

Ellen despised canines in her life. She was irate to see the marks of scores they made on her back still. Johnnies love toward the puppy caused her to deal with the puppy. With the help of a vet, Ellen gave medications and nutrition to provide the puppy strength to come back to life. Still, she kept it outside the home. Abraham built a timber kennel for the puppy.

Within months, it grew into a healthy German shepherd puppy. It adored Johnny a considerable measure and liked to sleep on Johnny’s clothes, which were kept to be washed when Ellen was not around. Johnny and the puppy became great friends. The puppy began running toward Ellen and Johnny when they called him Brownie.

Merlyn turned into Ellen’s regular customer for gradually. Every evening, Merlyn came to the cafeteria with her few-months-old baby girl in her grasp. It was a great relief for Ellen when Merlyn was in the cafeteria. Johnny was delighted to see the cute baby with Merlyn, and he loved to play with her. Merlyn became Johnny’s favourite auntie in no time with her stories and love for Johnny. It was Merlyn’s suggestion to leave Johnny in her home in the morning to make Ellen trouble-free to focus on business. Ellen had been thinking of sending Johnny to a playschool. She thought Merlyn’s suggestion was excellent. Each morning, she dropped little Johnny and Brownie at Merlyn’s house. In the evenings, Merlyn used to return to the cafeteria with them.

Ellen recovered her business in a few months. She decided to go to New York before Johnny’s fifth birthday and invite all to Maple Valley for the birthday celebration.

Ellen prepared herself for a week’s trip to New York. Isabella and Abraham were little worried thinking about handling the cafeteria for seven days. It was Ellen’s first time flying from Toronto to New York. She knew her parents used to travel frequently, but she never got a chance to fly with them, and she was very afraid. Antony knew about it, and he loved to go for long drives with the family instead of flying far. It was challenging for Ellen to check in and find the gates to board the aeroplane. Maybe after seeing her difficulty, one of the airline staff helped her till she boarded the aircraft.

Ellen sat near the center of the flying machine, Johnny love to sit on the window side. Ellen was quite terrified at the takeoff. She held the armrest tight, and a little segment of calfskin on the armrest accompanied her long fingernails. Johnny and Ellen felt happy in the clear sky. She felt like chucking the plan at some point, yet, she occupied her musings with family and smothered it. She viewed the world from thousands of feet above during the aircraft banking toward her side. She saw the grey-coloured earth with curved boundaries.

Ellen thought about how large the world they lived in was. With the high elevation, her ears began troubling her, and she felt the excessive pressure in her ears, Ellen held her nose with fingers and pushed a little air out to relieve the pressure. When she expelled the fingers from her nostrils, the chilly air from her ears went out with her smothered breath, and she felt relaxed. Little Johnny began resting after his supper on board. For three hours, Ellen was considering the responses of her family, companions, and Abeba after seeing her and the child. Ellen was confident they would be very happy and astounded to see her as a mother.